The Spider King Didn’t Play Games—He Played You D
Spider King Louis XI the 11th was the most brilliant and ruthless ruler in the history of France. But his own cunning brain betrayed him in the end. When his downfall came, it was too brutal for citizens to even witness. Maybe it’s no wonder Louis turned out so dysfunctional. He was spoiled from birth.
Born in 1423, Louisie was the eldest son and heir of Charles IIth, the King of France, and his wife, Queen Marie of Andrew. Everyone probably babyed him from a young age, but Louie remained particularly close to his mother throughout his life. His father, not so much. By the time Louie was a snot-faced 13-year-old, his father, King Charles IIIth, was already terrified of how intelligent his son was and how volatile.
The young Dorphan had a huge temper, and he often turned it towards his dear old dad. Louie thought Charles was a weakling and quickly learned to despise him. As we’ll see, this would not go well for all involved. There may have been a dark reason for Louis’s early dysfunction. King Charles IIIth always feared for his young son’s safety in the face of France’s enemy, and he kept the prince locked away from prying eyes.
Like literally, Louisie lived in Terrain Castle in almost total isolation from when he was just a toddler until he was 10 years old. Let this be a lesson. Socialize your kids, people. In 1436, when Louis was still barely a teenager, he got another reason to hate his father. That summer, Charles betrothed him to the 11-year-old Princess Margaret of Scotland without asking his son’s opinion on the matter at all.
It was the beginning of a nightmare. Reportedly, Louisie entered the match determined to hate his wife. And well, you get what you put in. On June 25th, 1436, Louie and Margaret married at the Castle of Tours in France, just one day after they met for the first time. I’ll level with you here. It was a total disaster.
The bride was so young on her wedding day, she looked like a beautiful doll, even next to the 13-year-old Louie, which isn’t exactly the best omen. Oh, but it got worse. Louis and Margaret’s fairy tale day definitely wasn’t a happily ever after. The ceremony was incredibly plain, especially for the lavish royal standards of the time.
In fact, old King Charles seemed to care about it so little he just threw on a pair of riding pants and called it a day. The day was miserable. But Margaret didn’t even know the French king’s dark secret. France was practically bankrupt, and his family barely had enough money to pay for the humble ceremony they did have.
Another kicker in Louis miserable marriage, medieval doctors were queasy about how young the royal couple was, and they advised against consumation on the wedding night because of Margaret’s immaturity. Honestly, if medieval doctors are telling you that, you know it’s a big deal. But eventually, Margaret took matters into her own hands.
Surprisingly, probably zero people at court. Margaret didn’t take much to Louisie either. Soon enough, she often vocally sided with her father-in-law instead of her husband. She might not have needed to worry, though. Louie had darker things on his mind. [Music] As Louisie grew into a lanky teenager, his temper and his vendetta against his father only grew worse.
One day, it hit a violent climax. In 1440, a 16-year-old Louie gathered up a cadra of noble supporters and launched a literal rebellion against King Charles IIth. Louie was chomping at the bit to gain absolute power, but it backfired right in his face. Today, Louis’s revolt is called the pragery, but it’s known as a colossal failure, not a resounding triumph.
The nobility who supported Prince Louie were woefully unprepared to meet the might of a king of France and Charles II handily beat his son and the boy’s full-blown Edipus complex. But then King Charles made his first big mistake. Maybe Louie was right after all about his father’s weakness because the king found it in his heart to forgive his rebellious boy and he let him keep his life.
In fact, Louisie got off from the whole debacle practically scot-free. This was a grave miscalculation. The prince had no intention of backing down. He just got a lot smarter about it. So, when he hit his father next, it was below the belt. In 1445, Princess Margaret met a tragic fate. At just 20 years old, she caught a fever that inflamed her lungs, and the poor woman passed in her bed chamber.
Yet, there is so much more to the heartbreaking story. As Princess Margaret expired, she kept raving about two subjects. The first was her devotion to her beloved father-in-law, King Charles II, and the second was a curse on a strange man named Jam Datilly. Like so many things surrounding Louis XI 11th, however, this curse contained a sorted, twisted history that had everything to do with her husband.
According to what historians have now uncovered, Jamant once accused Margaret of being a wanton princess, and when these rumors of infidelity reached Louie, he hardly ever showed warmth to her ever again. It may have been the keystone of their miserable [Music] marriage. When Margaret passed, she did so, begging her husband to believe she was always faithful.
Whatever Louie felt about this, or more likely didn’t feel, has been lost to history. King Charles wanted desperately to mend fences with his son and heir. But there was one thing he would never give him. More power. Louie was bent on gaining more and more control of the country that was not yet his.
But Charles, terrified of his own flesh and blood, kept saying none. It was only a matter of time before it all unraveled. Eventually, Louie made himself such a menace around the French court, his father put him in his place in a brutal way. Fed up with his son’s attitude, King Charles all but exiled Louie, sending the Dorphin to his own custommade province of Dorphine.
Yeah, that’s how dysfunctional they were. Louisie got voted off the island, but it was about to get a lot more dysfunctional. No one could sulk like Louis the 11th. And when he got sent to his island, he made sure his father regretted it big time. As the years passed, King Charles softened his bitterness against his son yet again and asked him several times to reconcile.
Louis’s grudge, however, was as rockolid as ever. The two never met again. Yet, Louisie still got a vicious revenge. Several of them, actually. While in self-imposed exile and Dorphine, Louisie took the opportunity to launch some long-d distanceance intrigues on dear old dad.
Because this was not a man who knew how to slow his role. But his most eyebolical plan went even further than that. In 1451, Louie was single and ready to mingle. He betrothed himself to the noble woman Charlotte of Seavoi. And this was actually a brilliant revenge plan. This girl had serious connections in Italy.
And Louis’s romance was a political maneuver to shore up even more power against, you guessed it, his dad. In fact, Louie married Charlotte without King Charles consent and totally against his wishes. And that wasn’t the worst part. Charlotte of Seavoi may have been a powerful chess piece in Louis Game of Thrones, but I’ve got gross news for you.
She was also barely aware of what was going on. The 27-year-old Dorphan’s new fiance was just 8 years old and nine when they tied the knot in February 1451. Could this get any creepier? Yeah, you bet it could. True to his disturbing personality, Louisie completely neglected poor Charlotte the moment he married her and got what he
needed from her, i.e. her political connections since she was still, you know, a child. Charlotte probably didn’t mind this so much for the first little bit, but all that was about to change in a big way. Out of all of this, Louis’s reaction to his father’s end was probably his crulest moment. King Charles IIIth fell violently ill with a saw on his leg.
The old king, still furious at his son, but scared of the future, begged Louie to come to his bedside. Louis reply was so chilling it’s impossible to forget. He not only refused, he jubilantly hired astrologers to pinpoint exactly when his father would pass. But when the end came, it was even more tragic than all that.
Somehow, Charles held on for two more grueling years, growing weaker in both his mind and his body until he was nearly delirious. Yet, he never stopped asking Louie to come to his deathbed. and Louie never stopped rebuffing him. Finally, on July 22nd, 1461, fully cognizant of his son’s final betrayal, Charles starved himself to death. Just guess how Louie reacted.
Where before nothing could get Louisie to central France, he quickly changed that tune the instant he heard of his father’s last breath. Louie was desperate to get that sweet, sweet throne, and he was terrified someone else would try to claim the crown he fought so long and so hard to win. He hurried away immediately, but he forgot one big thing. Get this.
Louie packed up and left so fast he fully abandoned his teenaged wife, Charlotte. In his desperate rush to get to his inheritance, he packed up all his carts and men and left her in Burgundy, forcing the queen to beg and borrow her own carts so she could tag along behind him. Unfortunately, this was just a sneak peek of his selfish, frenzied reign.
About three days after his hated father’s passing, Louie finally got everything he had schemed, conspired, and killed for. On July 25th, 1461, he was now King Louis X 11th of France. Yet, he paid a heartbreakingly high price. Not only had he trampled nearly everyone he knew to get there, his years of minations left him with an incurable case of paranoia.
And very soon it started to [Music] show. From the very beginning, there was something different about the new king of France. While Louisie had once been gregarious and extravagant, he did an abrupt about face as king. suddenly turning misily. He also insisted on wearing threadbear clothes that made him look like a peasant and he was constantly on the road jittery and never staying in the same place for long.
And that wasn’t all. As the early days of Louis reign ticked on, he grew more and more suspicious of everyone around him and became secretive and reclusive as a result. Soon enough, he had fired or otherwise disposed of people who had once been his co-conspirators, dropping them like hot potatoes.
After all, they had betrayed their previous king so easily. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. King Louis XI 11th was incredibly interested in new scientific developments, but his passion grew to bizarre proportions. At one point, he even promised to pardon a man who was facing execution on one strange condition.
The king would set the man free if he became a guinea pig for a gallstone operation. Thanks, I guess. Louie could trust no man from his past, present, or future. He could only trust himself. So, starting in 1464, he created a vast postal network. and its true purpose was dark. Louie actually wanted to make sure he had his own eyes and ears on everything in his kingdom.
And the spy network earned him the name the universal spider. And boy did he fit it. Throughout these years, King Louis XI 11th just had one thing on his mind. It was the same thing that was always on his mind. Power, power, and more power. With his newfound crown, the edgy king started consolidating all of France under his absolute rule, taking away influence from major nobles at court.
This would come back to bite him. In 1467, Louis XI 11th made his most formidable enemy yet, Charles, the new Duke of Burgundy. Charles had just taken over from his father, Philillip, and while Burgundy had formerly been Louis ally, the new Duke in town was definitely not here to make friends. Charles was furious at Louis curtailing of his territories, and they soon locked into an infamous battle of blood and brains.
At the time, Louie was sneakily supporting the people of Leesge in a conflict against Charles. But in 1468, the king and the young Duke met for a peace treaty. It couldn’t have gone more horribly. While they were in the same room together, Charles found out that Louis citizens had killed one of his men and lunged at the ruler in a rage before the king’s guards detained him.
If only that were the end of things. A snake’s gone a snake. And King Louis XI 11th knew how to use the situation to his advantage. To save face, Louie played at being humble in front of Charles, signing a humiliating treaty to apologize for the bloodshed. Then, practically the minute he left, Louisie turned around, declared the treaty invalid, and started building an army.
And he swung that hammer down. By 1472, King Louis XI 11th was hellbent on destroying Charles, Duke of Burgundy once and for all, and he did not come to play. Charles put up a valiant fight, laying siege to a smattering of towns. But Louie used all his might and made the upstart feel the divine wrath of God.
When the summer came, it was all over but the crying. On July 22nd, Charles begged for forgiveness, waved the white flag, and swore obedience. Louie had won yet again, but karma comes for us all. Starting in 1470, Louis health began to take a turn for the worse. He had suffered from nasty hemorrhoids for most of his adult life, but that year, he experienced a particularly violent attack.
It left him with a high temperature and pounding headaches that barely allowed him to ride a horse. It was perhaps the first harbinger of things to come. As Louis aged, the tolls of his years of ambition, cruelty, and betrayal began to show on his face, his body, and his mind. He went bald in his 50s. Illness plagued him most of the time and his paranoia reached new heights as he began engaging in territory battles willilly near the end.
It’s fitting then that his cunning brain went first. In February 1481, disaster struck the king of France. Louis XI 11th, who had been declining in health and vigor for years, suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and then experienced another one the following September. It was a devastating one-two blow, especially for a man who had won his whole life.
And he did not take this well. In the face of these hemorrhages, Louisie seemed to regress to when he was an isolated, protected child. Where he once traveled across the country ceaselessly, even obsessively, and mingled with merchants, he now locked himself up in his castle and refused to appear in public, lest his citizens see how far he had fallen.
Eventually, though, he’d have no choice in the matter. In late August of 1483, King Louis XI 11th, the universal spider of France, suffered his third and final brain hemorrhage. Sharp-witted even until the bitter end, Louie must have known the Reaper was coming because on August 30th, he called for a priest and asked for the sacraments.
He passed that very evening. The man always did have good timing. Louis XI the 11th spent his entire life fighting tooth and nail for every shred of power he could get his hands on and his legacy though dark is still undeniable. He was one of the main forces that pushed France into the light of the Renaissance and his central systems of power shaped French monarchy up to the revolution.
But I still have to ask at what cost. Thanks for watching History Expose. If you love uncovering the best stories in history, hit like and subscribe to keep exploring with us. Don’t forget to visit our main page, Factonate, for more incredible facts about
